We have been spending a lot of time at home lately rather than venturing out.  I’m sure that in a lot of ways this is probably not the best course of action – Tristan does in fact need socialization, even if it is difficult.  In terms of my sanity though, it is truly for the best.  Tristan is so much calmer and more relaxed when we are left to our routines within these walls.  The boys nap when they’re supposed to, eat when they’re supposed to, and for the most part their behaviour is pretty predictable.  Of course we still deal with the stress of Tristan’s agression towards Gabe and random temper tantrums over wanting a snack, or deciding that he wants to randomly go to Grandma’s when she’s at work.  Somehow everything seems more manageable here though, for everyone.  I am not at the mercy of what other’s expect of me… I don’t feel people’s eyes on me judging my children or how I react to them.  It’s safe here.

I hope that once we start doing more therapies with Tristan that we will be able to venture out more.  I miss being able to take the kids to indoor playgrounds and playgroups…. in a lot of ways I miss the companionship of other moms because I don’t see my friends as much as I used to.  But I’m comfortable here.

Really though, I have always been a homebody.  It’s perhaps a miracle that I am married with 2 kids.  There was a time when I was single where I worked 2 jobs, and the rare night I had off would be spent working out at the gym, followed by a glass of wine, a bubble bath, and a book.

So this all leads me to wonder – is it really Tristan that copes better at home, or is it really just me?